tilled & sown

Since my last post, I have booked my flight to the DR, we have ordered t-shirts, and I have traveled to Knoxville and back, where I was blessed to have spent time with a lot of different people who are important to me. Support is starting to come in, things are good.

But I will tell you that God is still wrecking me every single day.

As I pursue Him, I'm noticing how hard He is actually pursuing me... showing me areas where I need to grow, things I need to let go of so that I can be complete and whole. Every day is a kick in the pants, but still I've never felt alive like this.

Maybe you don't know this, but I constantly write. Especially now, while my days are less structured, I try to capture thoughts on paper as much as I can. It helps me process and learn. It helps me keep track of what the Lord is teaching me. So my life is more or less chronicled in notebooks and random slips of paper. I also make lists. Lists keep me going. And the anticipation of moving to the DR has resulted in more of them than I can keep up with.

Anyway, all this to say that in my writing and list-making I notice a pattern. It's happening slow, God is refining me. Little by little I am required to let go of everything I'm holding on to that's not the Father. And letting go is the hardest thing ever. I feel like this whole missions thing is fooling everyone into thinking I'm brave, when most of the time I don't feel very brave. And because of that, I'm putting myself in a position in which the Lord has to move for it to work... complete dependency on Him is where I want to be. I've heard it's a good situation to be in. And I'm still only learning, it's something I have to struggle with to grow into.

So I write, and I list. And I listen for the voice of the Lord. This might be weird, but I feel like the land of Israel that God spoke to in Ezekiel saying, "For behold, I am for you, and I will turn to you, and you shall be tilled and sown" (36:9). Even now He is preparing me for things I can't imagine... He's freeing me so I can really live, and really love and bring life to people. That's pretty cool.

He's breathing more life into me every day.

you know you want to rock this...

Would anyone be into buying a t-shirt such as this one to help support us in the DR?

If so, comment below or email me so we can get an idea of how many to order! We are looking at ordering from Alta Gracia, an ethical clothing factory in the DR that provides a living wage for Dominicans. This would be a unique opportunity to support the Dominican people in several ways at once. Thanks for your help!!

really, thanks :)

ruminate grace

ru·mi·nate [roo-muh-neyt] : to chew over and over; to meditate on; ponder.

I've recently discovered the power of ruminating. Heather pointed out this word a while back and ever since it has been very much a part of our daily vocabulary. Ruminating can be a great thing... it can also be a very unhealthy thing.

A lot of us have a tendency to chew on the same worries and fears for a long time. We keep playing them over and over in our minds until we see them as reality. This is what keeps us from moving forward in life. Truth gets muddied with our fears, the words and opinions of others, and our own desires until we can no longer see it clearly.

our feelings, our thoughts, are not always true.

But something that is literally changing my life is this: when I feel overwhelmed, or when I can't decipher what is the truth...the best thing I can do is ruminate God's word...His promises to me, what He says about me. Because that is truth. It is also good for me to think about God's grace, what He's done for me. And not just His all-encompassing grace, but the grace He shows me in the tiniest ways, every moment, every day.

Today I'm choosing to think about how His power is perfected in my weakness. His grace is sufficient for me (2 Corinthians 12:8). I honestly sometimes feel crazy, like I'm trying to do the impossible. And well maybe I am. And maybe that's when we see God's power at work.

There will always be trials and we might not always know what's best but I will search for truth, and hold on to the truth I find.

<3 em

news, news, NEWS.

this is a season of change

I graduated college in May, and May was so different from what June held and June was so different from the July that has just ended. August and into fall holds new adventure and all the fullness of God if I can just reach out and take it.


there are some things about life that I've been learning:

I want to tell everyone something. Every day I become less content with who I am, with where I am, with what I'm doing. If we are not searching for the "more" God has for us, then where are we going? really. My soul aches to be moved to deeper places. And I'm only interested in things that are real, gritty, alive and moving. What's the use in hiding or running away from what truly makes our heart beat? "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (john 8:32)

And I found out that I belong in the moment. After all, that is where we find God...it's where we see grace: in the smallness of life. For the first time, the word "freedom" is starting to mean something to me. Until now I never understood that I was free to go and do and dream and laugh and dance and love, without shame. Shame does not have power over me. I want my life to be so full that there is no more room for doubt, or fear.

so, i'm going.
I go to be a part of the lives of the people who stole my heart over a year ago.
I'm going to be a vessel of this freedom.

I leave for the Dominican Republic in September (yes, 2011) to live all of this out and be with those people, loving them...Christ through me. Heather, Christine and I will be living in Monte Cristi, serving the community and seeking the Lord to learn how to disciple, invest, and bring change. Please pray that these hearts that we serve will be opened to the love of God.

***If you would like to know more about what I'll be doing and/or how you can support me, send me an email (emilee.cook@gmail.com)! I would love to send you more info than you probably even want.
There is also a link to directly support me on this page, to your right :)


more to come...